I drove by your car this morning on my way to work. You had your windows down. You didn’t know it was me, because I have a new car that you haven’t seen before. I looked over wanting to smile, and then I caught a whiff of your putrid stink cloud. I sped off.

It’s cool that you still live with your parents … It’s cool that you finally got a new car .. It’s cool that your girlfriend might be dumber than a packet of catsup. It’s unacceptable that you, sir, still stink.

Go take a shower.